Five Keys Elements of Successful Eating Disorder Treatment
a solution, it's important to know that not all help is equal. Eating
disorder treatment is extremely expensive ($1,000 a day) and so is
on-going therapy. And how can you be sure that the treatment you are
seeking will work?
Having been helping people with eating disorders, weight loss and
addictions for 20 years, and having overcome an eating disorder myself,
I have identified 5 key points that I believe are crucial for
successful treatment. When researching your options, have this
checklist available. The closer your options come to meeting these
criteria, the better your chance of success.
1. Be cautious of "cures".
Despite having lived free from the food problem for 20 years I don't
consider myself cured. "Cured" is a tricky term so I suggest that
before you buy anyone's claim to "cure" you of your eating disorder you
do a little detective work. An anorexic who gains weight and a bulimic
stop stops purging may be considered "cured". So may an obese person
who loses significant weight.
My experience with all eating disorders is that eliminating the
immediate symptom does not end the more persistent compulsion and
obsession with food and weight - another significant component of the
problem. A life time of obsession and dependence on the eating disorder
as a life coping tool cannot be cured in 30 days. This doesn't mean
someone has to struggle with food the rest of their lives either. But
recovery requires vigilance in self-awareness and self improvement.
Don't be tempted by a "quick fix". Seek a real solution based on
ongoing inner and outer change and you will come to appreciate the life
lessons the eating disorder is here to teach you.
2. Seek help from those who have "been there".
We have been used to being told by well meaning therapists, doctors,
dieticians and coaches to just "eat less, exercise more, moderate your
portions, etc." It's sound advice but close to impossible to follow at
times if you're a real emotional eater. There is a "disconnect" when
you are trying to get help from someone who doesn't truly know how you
feel. Somebody who has not lived the hell you are living (the
self-hatred, the insanity of the food obsession and the powerlessness
to control oneself, etc.) will have trouble reaching you because in the
back of your mind you are thinking: "they don't really understand".
It's too easy to tune them out - feeling even more isolated and alone
with our problems than ever.
The bottom line is that getting help from those who have actually "been
there" and overcome it (that's important) is the only way to receive
help in the deepest way. Not only will the information make sense
because it's based on personal experience and not book knowledge (which
has never worked for us) but it will penetrate into our hearts. Our
hearts open when we believe that those who are helping us truly
understand what we are going through.
3. Help must have a spiritual component.
Much of the help available today primarily addresses the psychological
and physical aspects of eating disorders. Unfortunately, this isn't
enough. People spend years in therapy and working with dieticians yet
continue to harm themselves with food. Their brains are filled with
sound psychological insight as well as information about calories,
exercise, eating schedules and nutrition, yet they continue to give in
to cravings for hamburgers and ice cream!
The truth is that eating disorders, emotional eating and addictions are
driven by a soul-sickness that no amount of intellectual understanding
or personal will power can heal. A person must be given spiritual tools
they can use and rely on when their own personal resources fail. It's
important to note that there is a difference between spirituality and
religion, and in this case I'm suggesting the use of the former. By
being encouraged to cultivate a belief in a higher power that is loving
and ever-available for support and strength, a person can begin to
depend on that power for the intervention and grace that can help them
stop their destructive behavior.
4. The solution must address the underlying causes.
There is no hope of overcoming an eating disorder without looking
beyond the eating disorder. Obsession with food and weight and other
addictions are symptoms of deeper problems. They conveniently distract
us from extreme unhappiness and self-loathing that lie underneath the
surface. Any treatment program that focuses on primarily on food, body
image and weight management is missing the point.
A person must be supported in looking at the cause of the self-loathing
and subsequent self-destruction. (We don't ever just happen to hate
ourselves.) We are engaging in destructive thoughts and actions that
cause us to believe we deserve punishment. By changing these thoughts
and actions (most of which have little to do with food and body) we can
feel deserving of better self-care. Anyone who has struggled for more
than a few years with an eating disorder, if honest, will be able to
admit that their problem really isn't about food. Finding a program
that reinforces this and addresses the real problem is essential.
5. Recovery includes changing your life.
How we live determines how we feel about ourselves. How we feel about
ourselves determines how we eat. Therefore, in order to eat differently
we have to live differently. Many treatment centers consider a person
to be "cured", or well on their way, if their symptoms of anorexia,
bulimia or obesity lessen while in treatment. (If anorexic, they gain a
few pounds; if bulimic, their episodes decrease or stop; and if obese,
they lose some weight.) The problem is that they eventually have to
leave treatment and return to the same life that perpetuated or caused
their problem in the first place. This is why relapse is so common.
Eating disorders are a symptom of living a life that is severely out of
balance. Recovery comes when a person makes concrete, significant
changes in her life. Change must be deeper than body behavior and diet.
Change includes communication, thoughts, relating to people, priorities
and attitude. There is no 30 day program that will automatically cause
a person to overcome an eating disorder or help a person lose weight
for good. It is the hard, but necessary, ongoing changes in one's life
that enable a person to break free. Be sure that the help you seek
isn't skin-deep. There is no success without a commitment to real life
change.
Bonus: It needs to work!
"Does the treatment work?" Believe it or not, people forget to consider
this critical question when evaluating options. They also forget to ask
this of themselves after receiving help. People turn to treatment
centers, doctors and counselors for answers but never stop to ask if
the help they are receiving is actually making a dent in their actual
behaviors. They may feel comforted, supported and heard, but is it
actually changing their symptoms? And if the answer is "yes", ask how
much are the symptoms changing. Most people feel that going from
purging 7 times a day to 3 is good enough. But how good can one's
quality of life be when one is still purging (or bingeing) at all? I am
well aware that progress of any kind is never to be discounted.
However, I have had the privilege of routinely witnessing people's
symptoms being removed completely. In light of the knowledge that a
person can be totally free of their eating disorder, settling for "a
little less self-destruction" doesn't seem like such a great deal after
all. Be sure that the help you're seeking isn't just a "feel-good"
measure, but an actual solution that shows results.
These 5 (and a bonus) key elements for seeking help for eating
disorders are crucial for true success. Many people search for decades
and spend thousands of dollars on programs that don't give them
results. It's easy to let the desperation of this disease drive you to
spend money now and ask questions later. It's important to let your
head and intuition - not your emotions- make your decision. You deserve
to be (and can be) totally free from your problems. While only you can
issue the permit for freedom, getting the right help along the way can
make all the difference in the world.
